[SlimDevices: Audiophiles] Gravitational Waves

[ralphpnj]

Now that gravitational waves have been detected how long before their
adverse effects on audio will be noted along a solution to repair those
adverse effects?

In other words: calling Machina Dynamica



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[rgro]

Post by ralphpnj
Now that gravitational waves have been detected how long before their
adverse effects on audio will be noted along a solution to repair those
adverse effects?
In other words: calling Machina Dynamica

Heheh.....but isn't it amazing to be reminded, yet again, of the
staggering intellect that was Mr. Einstein~



Rg

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[ralphpnj]

Post by rgro
Heheh.....but isn't it amazing to be reminded, yet again, of the
staggering intellect that was Mr. Einstein~

True but was Einstein an audiophile?



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[SlimChances]

Post by ralphpnj
True but was Einstein an audiophile?

Of course he was


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[ralphpnj]

Post by SlimChances
Of course he was

And he could very clearly hear jitter and the effects of gravitational
waves! I also believe that he served as a secret adviser to Machina
Dynamica. In fact it was Einstein who told Machina Dynamica to use blue
dots rather red, as originally planned. It all had something to do with
quantum mechanics but since I'm no rocket scientist I really don't
understand it.



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[bpa]

And he could very clearly hear jitter.

Did he hear jitter or was it flutter in pre-digital era ?


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[ralphpnj]

Post by bpa
Did he hear jitter or was it flutter in pre-digital era ?

By using the time warping properties of general relativity Einstein was
able to peek into the future and hear 21st century digital audio. Again
the full explanation of exactly how Einstein was able to hear jitter
involves some very complex relativity theory that I don't fully
understand, nor will I ever have any hope of understanding.

However this being an audiophile forum just mentioning that the reason
involves complex quantum and relativity theory is more than good enough
:)



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[Julf]

Post by ralphpnj
Now that gravitational waves have been detected how long before their
adverse effects on audio will be noted along a solution to repair those
adverse effects?

Appropriately the 'Real HD Audio blog of Mark Waldrep'
(http://www.realhd-audio.com/?p=5574) had this pearl yesterday:

"DH Labs introduces Gravitationally Compensated Audio Cables

If the moon’s gravitational pull has the power to move entire oceans,
imagine what it does to the tiny electrons traveling through your audio
cables. In light of this, DH Labs has created the world’s first
gravitationally compensated audio cables. By using proprietary
electro-gyroscopic technology, DH Labs has defeated the laws of physics,
and the results are spectacular. This new technology necessitates
maintaining a double inventory, as all cables shipped to the southern
hemisphere must have their conductor strands wound in the opposite
direction. Price: $7000 per meter.

Wait, there’s more:
To make the best even better, our Earth MFC (Magnetic Field
Cancellation) option can be added for only $30,000. As the name implies,
Earth MFC cancels the negative effects of the earth’s magnetic field,
using precision calibrated magnetometers coupled to proprietary
monitoring circuitry. The monitoring circuitry is necessary to maintain
calibration should the planet’s magnetic poles ever reverse.

The net effect of these revolutionary new technologies is the purest
sound ever heard.”

(and yes, it is a joke)



"To try to judge the real from the false will always be hard. In this
fast-growing art of 'high fidelity' the quackery will bear a solid gilt
edge that will fool many people" - Paul W Klipsch, 1953
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[bonze]

This new technology necessitates maintaining a double inventory, as all
cables shipped to the southern hemisphere must have their conductor
strands wound in the opposite direction.”

Surely the use of one of these cables in the southern hemisphere must
also necessitate the use of an "opposite" cable in the northern
hemisphere?
Otherwise he's putting the Earth out of balance.

For example, for every cable shipped to Australia there should be a
cable stored in a warehouse in the UK (for an annual fee - obviously)



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[SlimChances]

Post by bonze
Surely the use of one of these cables in the southern hemisphere must
also necessitate the use of an "opposite" cable in the northern
hemisphere?
Otherwise he's putting the Earth out of balance.
For example, for every cable shipped to Australia there should be a
cable stored in a warehouse in the UK (for an annual fee - obviously)

I guess it would be cataclysmic if an owner of a cable travelled with
his cable to the opposite hemisphere'**'
(https://www.google.ca/search?client=ubuntu&hs=O7k&channel=fs&q=cataclysmic&spell=1&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjAtK2UkPjKAhXJmR4KHZ00AD0QvwUIGSgA&biw=1088&bih=510)



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[Greg Erskine]

Post by Julf
Appropriately the 'Real HD Audio blog of Mark Waldrep'
To make the best even better, our Earth MFC (Magnetic Field
Cancellation) option can be added for only $30,000. As the name implies,
Earth MFC cancels the negative effects of the earth’s magnetic field,
using precision calibrated magnetometers coupled to proprietary
monitoring circuitry. The monitoring circuitry is necessary to maintain
calibration should the planet’s magnetic poles ever reverse.

I hope there is a toggle switch as the earth's magnetic field is due for
a reversal. ;)


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[ralphpnj]

Just as I predicted the first ripples of the newly measured
gravitational waves are being felt in the world of high end audio.

Although the phenomena has yet to be formally named, I've already taken
to calling the effect gravitational blur or blurring. This debilitating
effect is the result of the harsh and near constant bombardment on all
the various wires and cables in one's audio system by interstellar
gravitational waves which causes the electrons in the wires to wildly
fluctuate in their travel path, thus blurring their ability to transmit
a pure electrical signal and hence adversely effecting the ability of
one's audio system to reproduce sound with any degree of true fidelity.

Now imagine the devastating effect these gravitational waves are having
on wi-fi signals. Suffice it to say that it is well beyond the
comprehension of anyone not fully versed in all aspects of quantum
mechanics and relativity theory. Until a workable solution to this
problem is found I very strongly suggest that all Squeezebox devices be
connected via Ethernet (where the effects of gravitational waves, while
still present, are not as severe) and not via wi-fi.

However there is some good news!

Now that this long hidden cause for all things bad in audio as been
identified, several manufacturers are hard at work on a proprietary
solution to this problem with the hope being that their solution will be
the first to the marketplace and patent office.

Not to be left behind, both Stereophile and The Absolute Sound are each
planning on fully dedicating an upcoming issue to this grave issue.

But sadly the issue of gravitational waves has yet to even be mentioned
by a single US Presidential candidate so there is little hope that this
vital issue will given the attention it so rightly deserves. I hope that
all of my follow forum members will help to bring this serious issue
into the public consciousness.



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Guest Rm: Duet-Sony soundbar
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[Mnyb]

I'm waiting for it :) but this is much older than high end audio ,
all,kinds of scammers have always made sales riding on new discoveries .
When electricity was discovered you could buy ( and still can actually )
devices to stimulate your health :) what about magnetic mattresses and
shoes ?
When radium and uranium was discovered you could get radium soap even
radium cigarettes and uranium laden water container all for the benefit
of your health .. New buzzword new opurtunities .

I don't have the energy to mention any of the thousands of nutrinial and
heaths fads that emerges as son as something new is hinted at in medical
science it's to tedious and not much fun . Out of context is key .



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[ralphpnj]

Post by Mnyb
I'm waiting for it :) but this is much older than high end audio ,
all,kinds of scammers have always made sales riding on new discoveries .
When electricity was discovered you could buy ( and still can actually )
devices to stimulate your health :) what about magnetic mattresses and
shoes ?
When radium and uranium was discovered you could get radium soap even
radium cigarettes and uranium laden water container all for the benefit
of your health .. New buzzword new opurtunities .
I don't have the energy to mention any of the thousands of nutrinial and
heaths fads that emerges as son as something new is hinted at in medical
science it's to tedious and not much fun . Out of context is key .

So are you trying to say that gravitational waves have NO effect on
audio, radio waves or the human body?!?!?

As I stated earlier, these nasty g-waves can and do cause gravitational
blurring of the audio signal* and I shutter to think what kind of havoc
these g-waves are reaping on the molecules in the human bloodstream and
body. Hopefully Dr. Oz is aware this grave issues and will be offering
his loyal viewers a solution in the very near future.

* I dare you to try to prove otherwise :)



Living Rm: Transporter-SimAudio pre/power amps-Vandersteen 3A Sign. &
sub
Home Theater: Touch-Marantz HTR-Energy Veritas 2.1 & Linn sub
Computer Rm: Touch-Headroom Desktop w/DAC-Aragon amp-Energy Veritas 2.1
& Energy sub
Bedroom: Touch-HR Desktop w/DAC-Audio Refinement amp-Energy Veritas 2.0
Guest Rm: Duet-Sony soundbar
Garage: SB3-JVC compact system
Controls: iPeng; SB Controller; Moose & Muso
Server: LMS 7.9 on dedicated windows 10 computer w/2 Drobos
'Last.fm' (http://www.last.fm/user/jazzfann/)
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